Saturday, July 08, 2006; 10:23 AM;
im back after a few days of not being online on msn msger. hmm ytd was as bad as crap. ):had my 3000 race. it was bad, very bad, because i didnt improve. i dont know what happened. it was like shit. i really dont like it. why didnt i improve ? i ought to because i've trained hard. it was so disappointing for me. &a lil hard for me to accept that i really havent improved. why. that big digital timer showed my failure. moreover, i was wearing spikes. wth man, i seriously suck. ): but nvm.
10
Tan Yi Xin
431
RVH
13:58.80as if that isnt sucky enough, breaking up of a clique had to happen. i mean, i know it was my fault la, to disclose it to A. it was also my fault to say yes when she asked me to be honest with A. now all this damned shit is happening. i mean, wtf man. i feel i do have a say in this situation, although im not e person who knows all sides of e story best.i dont know why A is ignoring me. or is she not ? i dont know. she didnt talk to me e entire day ytd. &B, A's good friend, thinks she knows e situation very well. however in actual fact she's e last person i wanna see commenting on wtvr thats happening. C is upset about all thats happening, just like everyone involved. &from my presence in sch ytd, A &C are obviuosly not on very good terms. i dont know if A is blaming C or what, but i guess its because of D. D is distressed &getting so vulgar. i do not -repeat - do not wish to see him back to square one, back to his old grudgeful self. he has been a great friend since he changed for e better, &i appreciate his efforts for doing that, whether if it was for C or not. meanwhile, A feels cheated because C, D, E, F &myself kept e truth from her, for fear she'd become depressed. E is e one whom i respect &admire. he is trying to put e broken pieces of everyone back in place, so we'll become forgiving. but A &B are refusing his help. B swore at E, which made me feel angered. like i said, e most ignorant person in this situation is B while e most suitable person to solve e problem is E. now you see e irony ? F is D's good friend, &i suppose he doesnt know what to do as well. he says time will heal all but hey, we have no time left to be tgt, we're gonna get separated damn soon. &now all this crap is happening. all this unsound shit that is making everyone unhappy. all A, B, C, D, E, F, myself &e ppl arnd us. i myself do not know what i can/shld do now to help make things better. but while im thinking of a way to help, i shall keep my oral cavity shut to prevent myself from earning more enemies than ever. i alr have A, someone i treat as a very good friend, ignoring me for unknown reasons. &i dont need more.edit : for goodness' sake, any amount of choc wont cheer me up.
; ran